Memories of Sakura
by Kyrleia
Summary: This centers around Touya, told mostly from his Point of View, but focuses on Sakura, as Touya watches her grow up from birth to her 18 birthday. Mention of TouyaYuki, and HEAVY mention of YueSakura towrds the end. Chapter 2 up!
1. Baby on Board

Ehheh. This is the sister fic to my Y/S fic "Surprise?"So far I only have one review for for it, but I only posted it yesterday, and this plot bunny has been after me for days. Besides, on the advice of my most esteemed reviewer, Tomomi-chan, I decided to start it now. When I ask for advice or suggestions on things, like whether or not to put so and so together, Tomomi's opinions count for more than five of the inconsistent peoples, so if you guys want something, you'll have to review extra hard for it. If you don't review, or don't answer the specified question, It go's Tomomi or Ice Princess' ways, depending on the story. :P They're me favorites, matey.  
  
On another note, this is going to be a story centered around Touya, as he reminisces about Sakura. From babyhood to her eighteenth birthday, it focuses on their relationship, his "sister complex" Various small things, and how Touya feels about her relationship with Yue. Speaking of which, You don't absolutely HAVE to read "Surprise?" to understand this, but it might help you to understand some points towards the end. This has kind of a sad, whimsical overtone, though it highlights many happy moments.  
  
Since I don't positively know the age difference between Touya and Sakura, let's just say that it's seven years. That's my best guess, and if you know the real age diff, let me know. And if anyone knows how old Touya and Sakura were when their mother died, I REALLY need to know this.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own CCS or any of the characters.  
  
"talking" *emphasis*  
  
Told from Touya's POV (Point Of View)  
  
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Memories of Sakura Chapter 1: The First Year  
  
I remember the day that Sakura was born. The white hospital, all the nice nurses and doctors, and most of all, Tou-san taking me into the room that Kaa-chan was in. She looked tired and her hair was matted to her head with sweat. When I climbed up next to her on the hospital bed, she smiled at me and showed me the bundle of pink blankets that she was holding in her arms. "Touya-chan, this is your imouto-chan, Sakura." she said quietly, probably so that the new baby wouldn't wake up. There she was. I remember touching her tiny nose, and the tiny hand that lightly grasped the blanket that was wrapped about her little self. I was so surprised when that tiny hand wrapped around my finger. I was in complete and total awe of this mini- person, with her reddish skin and soft, downy hair.  
  
"Wow." I said breathlessly. Then a little too loudly, I added, "She's so little." Sakura scrunched her little face up and began to cry. Her wailing was loud and piercing, and I was relieved when Kaa-chan held her close, gently patting her back and murmuring soothing words. Sakura quieted, and once gain scrunched her face, but this time in a big yawn. Then she blinked bleary, gray-green eyes at me, and giggled, chirping and cooing and smiled a big, infectious smile. Tou-san stood by the bed, looking so very proud.  
  
~*~~*~~*~  
  
Three months later, Sakura was still a happy, giggly, baby, smiling all the time and laughing at me when I tried to get that very reaction. I'd stand over her when she had been laid on a blanket in the middle of the living room, making faces and nonsense sounds, and she'd clap her chubby little hands and giggle, smiling one of her beautiful smiles, the ones that made you smile back. Sometimes, she'd be fascinated by something so simple as as a piece of yarn swung in front of her, and, like a cat, followed the path the yarn made in the air with her eyes, closely watching, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. She'd reach her round baby arms up, trying to grab the string and examine it closer. It was these times that she was quietest, concentrating so hard on the yarn, looking so determined to grab it, it was almost comical. The only other time that she was that quiet was when she was asleep. All her waking hours, she'd be laughing and cooing and making all sorts of sounds that meant nothing to me or anyone else.  
  
~*~~*~~*~  
  
When Sakura took her first steps, I was the one to run to Kaa-chan, shouting and clapping my hands in glee. She had crawled over to the armchair in the living room, grabbed hold of it, and pulled herself up. She stumbled over to the couch, where she fell on her bottom, and looked charmingly confused as to why she was suddenly back on the floor. When Kaa- chan and I came running back, she giggled and reached for Kaa-chan, chirping "Kaa, Kaa!" Kaa-chan scooped her up, and planted kisses all over her face.  
  
"Did you just walk, musume-chan? Can you do it again, baby?" Kaa-chan asked, then set Sakura down by the coffee table. For a moment she looking confused again, then took notice of the short table and grabbed it, and pulled her self up again. She then proceeded to take a few wobbling steps toward Kaa-chan, then fell on her bottom again. Kaa-chan was so happy and proud, and when Tou-san got home that night, we had a special dinner to celebrate it.  
  
~*~~*~~*~  
  
On Sakura's first birthday, Tou-san took the day off of work for the party. Kaa-san had invited Sonomi-san and her daughter Tomoyo, to come over for the party. Sonomi-san had to work, but she had the nanny bring Tomoyo over, and Sakura and Tomoyo hit it off right away. They spent the day giggling at eachother and everybody else, and when cake time came around, Sakura mashed her piece into a glob of goop with her fists. Tomoyo just stared at Sakura, then copied her actions, deciding that it was more fun to kill the cake than to eat it. Then we gave Sakura her presents. Kaa-chan and Tou-san got her a little music box that played the song that Kaa-chan sung Sakura to sleep with. Sonomi-san had sent over a little white box with a couple dresses in it. I got Sakura a locket that was too big for her to wear then, but it would fit her when she got older.  
  
We had found an unmarked box on our front step that morning, with only Sakura's name on it. Inside was a pair of gold chopsticks for hair, the upper half set with emeralds to match Sakura's eyes, with odd, whitish, milky, almost opalescent stones entwined within the field of emeralds, and the entirety of it was engraved with ivy vines. There was also a set of white silk robes, embroidered with gold and green ivy, and a golden sash with the odd whitish stones sewn into it, and emeralds creating a fringe. A pair of golden slippers were included. It was far, far to big for her at the time, but it looked like it would fit her by the time she was fully grown. We wondered who in the world we knew that was rich enough to send a one-year old such fine, and obviously expensive things without even signing their name.  
  
We put the locket I gave Sakura and the robes, chopsticks, and slippers in another box to be given to Sakura when she turned eighteen. Kaa-chan thouht that it would be interesting to give Sakura one present from us all, and get something else that she might want in adulthood and put it in the box, and when she became an adult, that box would be given to her, with all it's contents. It was strange though. When I touched those robes, I got a funny feeling that neither Kaa-chan or Tou-san got. But we figured that they certainly couldn't hurt Sakura, so we packed them away, and wouldn't Sakura be surprised.  
  
As I watched her that night, sleeping soundly in her cradle, all tired out from such an exciting day, I realized that when I touched Sakura, now, I got a similar feeling as that when I touched the robes. I bent over and kissed Sakura on the forehead, then went to my own bed.  
  
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Sooooo, What do you think of the first chapter? Don't be shy now, and drop me a line and tell me your questions/comments/concerns. Don't forget, I need to know the REAL age difference between Touya and Sakura. And I also need to know how old they were when their mother died. Thanks!!! 


	2. The shattering of a dream

*Well, I guess it's about time that I updated this, huh? ~*~pout~*~ please don't hate me, kay? I just have to add here: I officially love my parents. I am now writing this on my new notebook computer!!!!! ~*~sigh~*~ I love Christmas! La-ti-da, I'm gonna basically skip a year here, going from age 1 to 3 with only a mention of year 2. Yes, I'm lazy, but oh, well. My horoscope says that's a good thing. ^_^  
  
Umm. this chapter is sort of dark and depressing, and to write it, I am drawing inspiration from how I felt each time one of my loved ones died, so if by the end it hasn't had any light notes, it'll be because I couldn't pull myself out of my heavy mood, k? Just a warning.  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill by now, or at least I would hope so.  
  
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Sakura's second year of life passed rather uneventfully. Oh, she, being a toddler, experienced her first scrapes, bumps, and general 'owies,' and though they all made big deals of them at the time, nothing really serious happened. It was when Sakura was three that everything was violently thrown into a spin that seemed as if it would never end.  
  
The memory of that day was forever branded into Touya's memory, burning with a white-hot pain when he revisited that particular recollection. He had known that his mother was sick for a while, but he had never expected what he learned that day that had started so normally, only to bring his world crashing down.  
  
He had walked into the house that afternoon to the sound of a thick, heavy silence, and a feeling of dread settling at the pit of his stomach. Usually, the smell of his mother's cooking hung in the air, and the sound of the laughter of his sister and mother filled the house with joy. He listened hard for a moment, only to hear a dry sob from the kitchen area. That feeling of dread increased as he quietly followed the sound. The only crying that had ever invaded the house since he was a very small child was the occasional wailing of Sakura when she got hurt.  
  
He was shocked to find his father in the kitchen, a glass of what looked like brandy on the table, half-empty, and the man he so looked up to supporting his head on his hand, eyes red from tears. Touya immediately knew that something was *very* wrong. His father was never home at that time, he usually worked late. He never drank, either, and most of all, he never cried. Finally, he noticed the skinny little boy standing before him, on the verge of crying himself, and lifted his head to look at him, eyes hollow. He held his arms out, and when his little boy, so unused to such open emotion, was situated comfortably in his lap, arms around his neck and head resting on his shoulder he spoke, stroking Touya's hair.  
  
"Touya, I need you to be a big boy now, and help me take care of your sister. She's going to need someone to protect her. She's going to need you for that, to make sure that she doesn't get hurt. Can you do that for me?" Touya, intuitive as he was, instantly understood the underlying meaning of the words, and the tears that had threatened finally spilled over, soaking Fujitaka's shirt, and feeling as though they scalded his cheeks, then froze on them, contradictory, as if they couldn't decide which hurt more, fire or ice. It seemed, though, that finally, it was decided that ice numbed it too much, and fire intensified the pain and burned it into his soul, a long, jagged wound that, though he didn't suspect at the time, would eventually heal, but leave a huge scar as a reminder of his pain.  
  
"Kaa-chan.." He choked through his sobs. Suddenly, a wailing pierced the air from upstairs, and Touya dried his eyes, for the moment and got up to calm Sakura, leaving his father, still seemingly paralyzed, at the table. As he walked out, sniffling, he saw, from the corner of his eye, the man who had appeared so strong, drain his glass with a trembling hand.  
  
~*~~*~~*~  
  
Touya hated them, all those people at the somber ceremony of his mother's burial. And yet, he didn't really, but he hated them for their lack of any real grief, and most of all for their pity. Standing there, as the rain poured down on them, they stood erect, emotionless, all dressed to go straight back to work as soon as it was over. The pity was apparent, a blind man could see it, in the way they looked at the small family that now was missing a member, it was there in the way they hesitated before speaking, their avoidance of interaction altogether, how the spoke when they did at all. It was in the way all the kids at school avoided him, in the way his teacher lowered her voice and tried to be as gentle as possible when dealing with him. In the way they all coddled him as if he would shatter into a million tiny shards were they to actually express anything.  
  
As Sakura started crying when the casket was closed and slowly lowered into the ground, and the glances came, all full of their self-righteous pity, a burning hot rage filled Touya, one that the heavy, pouring rain couldn't quench. He seethed inside, angry at his mother for leaving him, angry at the Gods for taking her, angry at the priest who dared to speak so unemotionally, irate at the people, for their pity- Oh, how he loathed it!- annoyed at Sakura for making it worse with her torn sobbing as she was held in the strong arms of their father, as he stood there, making no attempt to console her, his eyes dead, looking as if the life at also been torn from him. And he hated himself for being angry with them. His uncontrollable anger was directed at people who, his logic argued, could not help what happened. He knew that they didn't know what to say, or do, and he knew that Sakura couldn't help it either; if he had not already cried all his tears, he would be doing the same. His father, he could understand, had just had his soul mate taken from him, what could he do, but be empty?  
  
Still, Touya despised the pity.  
  
Soon, the crowd started to disperse, people going back to their jobs and families and friends, a heavy note ringing upon their hearts. Shortly, It was only the three of them left, Sakura's crying long ago having subsided. It seemed then, that the heaven's opened on them, and the rain poured down in sheets, matting their hair to their faces and their clothes to their bodies, and the thunder cracked and lightning flashed as they scattered various flower petals on the grave that would soon be marked by a marble headstone that loomed as if to finalize that their kaa-chan was, indeed, gone. Sakura whimpered in fear of the storm, a fear that would plague her for a very long time.  
  
They turned to go, their hearts and souls heavy with deep-seated grief.  
  
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Wow, that was kind of hard for me to write. Pretty heavy, huh? Well, despite that, review, and if I get 10 reviews, the next chapter will be lighter and happier, I promise. 


	3. Oniichan

Okay, I'm skipping years gain, but hey, if I were to do a chapter for every year of Sakura's life, a lot would probably be pretty boring, and it would drag on for quite a while. Ne? ^_^ So, I'll just be moving right along now, and get on with it. Lol.  
  
Disclaimer: :P If I owned Card Captor Sakura, I'd first have put Sakura and Yue together for real, and then I would have never given Nelvana (DIE!) the rights to dubbing. ::cough:: Well, I'ma shut up now.  
  
Oh, this is the last chapter, I thought I might as well just tie the whole thing up all short n' sweet.  
  
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Touya knew that something was different about Sakura, he could just sense it. It was like she radiated a strange sort of force, so strong that it was almost palpable, from her very being. Strangely, it didn't really bother him until after he had gotten out of range of it. It seemed to him that this.. force, whatever it was, had a soothing effect on anyone that it touched. Whenever he got near Sakura, it felt like being covered with a warm blanket and hearing a beautiful melody at the same time, so comforting that it seemed that all negative feelings were cleansed from him. It had only been minute when she was small, but it seemed that it grew with her and just recently, ever since she started acting strange, had increased in magnitude exponentially. That stuffed toy of hers was strange, too.  
  
Another thing about her. aura, he guessed, was the best word to describe it. was that it reflected her strong emotions. When that Li gaki was messing with her, even though he was far away, the feeling just pulsed violently through him, rattling his bones with her fear. He didn't even have time to think as he just reacted and ran to her.  
  
It was only when Touya found out about her destiny as the Cardcaptor that things finally started to make sense. He couldn't pretend to completely understand it, but at least he finally had something finite to pin the unexplainable on. Of course, he was shocked, to say the least, when Yuki, his dear Yuki, turned out to be the shell of a powerful angel-like being named Yue. And truthfully, that guy freaked him out more than a little. He didn't really comprehend how Sakura could like him so much, even as a child, when Yue was always so cold and emotionless. Yet Sakura persisted, and eventually, it seemed, she melted his ice-cold shell just a little bit. Little did he know, huh?  
  
Gripping the box tightly between his shaking hands, Touya stared at it with glazed eyes. It was finally here, Sakura's eighteenth birthday, and she was all grown up. She'd probably up and marry Yue now, or something like that. At least he still had Yuki, right? Damn. It felt as if he was trying to tear a piece of his heart out, letting her go. She wouldn't need him anymore; she was strong and had all her friends to protect her. And he didn't even have his magic now, what good was he to her? All he had ever been able to protect her from, anyway, was the little things, and her enemies were far from little.  
  
Putting on a brave face, Touya descended the attic stairs, careful not to drop the box he held so tightly. Sounds of laughter and chattering reached his ears as he neared the living room. Standing at the door, he took a deep breath, steadying himself and making sure that he wouldn't let anything on, and closed his eyes tightly. 'This is for you, Okaa-san.' He thought shortly, then opened his eyes and pushed the door open.  
  
"Whatcha got there, Touya?" Nakuru asked bouncily. Everybody was gathered around the room, seated on the various items of furniture, all in their respective couples. Sakura and Yue shared the love seat at the far end of the room, and next to them were Eriol and Tomoyo, and Syaoran and Meilin. Nakuru and Spinel Sun were next to Eriol, and Kero lounged in a sunny spot on the floor, in his true form. Fujitaka occupied the easy chair, chatting casually with Yuki. Touya gave Yuki a smile before crossing the room and setting the plain cardboard box in his little sister's hands.  
  
"You've already gotten all of your other presents, but every year since you were born, we've put one aside for you for when you turned eighteen. It was Okaa-chan's idea." Sakura looked surprised and happy, slightly misty-eyed about the mention of their mother. Touya kissed her cheek. "Happy birthday, imouto-chan."  
  
Speechless, Sakura just looked at Touya and her father, who was smiling benignly at her, before gingerly opening the box. First, she drew out a set of decorative daggers, both intricately carved with ruby insets along the hilt. "They're beautiful." She murmured softly. Then came a pair of opal earrings and a matching bracelet, followed by a silver necklace with a single pearl pendant hanging from it.  
  
"That was your mother's." Fujitaka commented. "She would have wanted you to have it." Sakura, now on the verge of tears, immediately put it on, Yue closing the clasp for her. Several other presents came from the box before Sakura reached the oldest ones, at the very bottom. First from that group was a locket, now tarnished over the years, which held a picture of her whole family, causing Sakura to mist up again. Then, with great care, she extracted the exquisite white robes from a mysterious source and all the accessories that came with it. Seeing it, Eriol laughed softly, drawing everyone's attention to him.  
  
"That's from Clow. Had it special-made for his 'daughter' before he died." Sakura grinned and set it aside. "Which reminds me, as heir to his estate, Sakura, don't be too surprised when lawyers start knocking on your door explaining that you've just inherited an insane amount of very valuable things." At this, Sakura laughed, too.  
  
"At least now I'm prepared." She giggled. By this time, Fujitaka, who had briefly left the room, called that the cake was done. Everyone except Sakura, Yue, and Touya left. Sakura gave Yue a look that could easily be translated as a request for some privacy. Yue chastely kissed his lover before joining the rest in the dining room. With everybody gone, Sakura opened the last item in the box, a worn photo album, and as she flipped through the paged of pictures of her family, her mother, her and Touya, and her father and mother together, and the funeral, tears brimmed in her eyes and nearly spilled over. At the end, she found a letter tucked in the back. She wiped her eyes and managed to read it through the tears that blurred her vision. Finished, she just looked at Touya and suddenly burst completely into tears.  
  
She stood and pulled her brother into a tight hug, tears streaming down her face. "I will *always* need you, Touya. Don't you dare think otherwise. You've taken care of me all these years, and even though I resented it at times, I was grateful, too. You're my big brother, and no matter how old I get, that's how it will always be. I still need you, and always will." Touya just bent his head and rubbed her back.  
  
"I love you, too, Imouto."  
  
~*~~*~~*~ The letter ~*~~*~~*~  
  
*Dearest little sister,  
  
As hard as it is for me t write this, I suppose that it's easier than saying it. There are so many things that I want to say to you, but as you know, I've never been very good with words. First, I want to apologize for all the annoyance that I've caused you over the years. I was trying my hardest to protect you, but I suppose that eventually, you have to be exposed to the world, or you'll never be able to take care of yourself. And heaven knows that as much as I wish I could, I won't always be here to stand guard over you and keep the bad guys away.  
  
Second, I just want you to know that I love you very much. Never ever doubt that. As trying as you have occasionally been, and as short and mean that I've been, I did it all out of love. Gods, you don't even realize how special you are. You hold the complete and utter adoration of everyone who has ever met you, including me. Ever since you were a baby, you somehow managed to snag my attention. Even then, I adored you, chubby little face and fingers, gray-green eyes, sparse scattering of hair and all.  
  
When Mama died, it tore me up inside, but assigning all my attention to you helped to ease that pain. Papa asked me to help take care of you, so I did, and it helped more than you can ever know. Where before I felt like someone had ripped my heart open with a white-hot blade, something about you was like a healing balm. You brought a strange sense of serenity and soothing to me that seemed to make it all better, if even for a moment. In turn, I devoted myself to sheltering you from the hurt and pain of the world, and I tried so hard to keep you safe and healthy.  
  
Now, you're all grown up. It's your eighteenth birthday, little kaijuu, you're an adult. It took a while, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that you're in love with Yue. I'm sorry for giving you so much grief over him. I can only try to justify it by maintaining that I did it all out of love. But, If he *ever* hurts you in any way, come to me and I'll kill him, after causing him inordinate amounts of pain and suffering. The same goes for anybody else. I realize that you can take care of yourself now, that you don't need me to protect you anymore, but I want you to know this, okay?  
  
I hope you realize that I feel like a complete fool now, having written this all down. And even though you don't need me anymore, know that I'll be there for you, should you ever need me, for the rest of my life. Just. remember that, kaijuu.  
  
With much love, Your Onii-chan  
  
~*~~*~~*~OWARI~*~~*~~*~ ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~  
  
^_^ Well, what do you think? I thought the letter was a nice touch. I realize that this chapter is a bit rushed, but I felt that I just needed to bring the whole story to a close. Well, I really need to sleep now, it's almost 1:00 a.m., and I need to get up at 6 for school. The things I do for the sake of my readers. ::melodramatic sigh:: REVIEW!!!!!!!! 


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